hypatia_82

Title: Leaping Before You Look
Author:

hypatia_82
Word count: ~2500
Rating: R/NC17
Feedback: Encouraged and appreciated.
Warnings: Genderbender. Angsty porn with little redeeming value. Unbeta’ed..
Disclaimer: Not mine! Don’t own the characters, the concept or anything else.
Pairing: Girl!Kirk/McCoy.
Summary: Some days are so bad you do whatever you can to make them better.

He comes home one night after working a double shift at the hospital. He’s spent the last four hours elbow deep in some idiot who didn’t have the sense to look before he crossed the road. He’s tired, his back hurts -hell, his entire body hurts- and all he wants to do is collapse onto his bed and sleep for about a week. Which is why he doesn’t even bother to turn on the lights as he drags his feet to his room. “Dammit, Jim!” He curses as he trips over a discarded boot on the floor and almost ends face down in what is probably Jim’s discarded uniform. He’ll be sure to have words with her again in the morning about picking up after yourself.

He’s so caught up in his exhausted grumbling that he doesn’t notice the sleeping form in his bed until he almost sits on it -her- in the process of removing his boots. He jumps off the bed and calls for lights at 60 percent. The sight that greets him is one he’s thought about more than he’ll ever want to admit. Jim is sprawled on his bed, and apart from the sheet that only just covers her, she’s completely and utterly naked. He can tell because it only covers one of her legs and her torso and if she moves just a little, he’ll finally know just what color her nipples are and just how much she shaves off and - oh, God, he really shouldn’t look but he can’t seem to tear his eyes away. He swallows slowly, almost painfully, closes his eyes and tries to think of the most grueling autopsy he’s ever performed.

“Bones?” Her voice is small and a little more hoarse than usual. He opens his eyes and she’s looking up at him blearily, shielding her eyes from the light. He clears his throat and is about to yell at her for being in his bed when he notices the dried up tear tracks on her face. This is not good. This is very, very not good because in the year he’s known her, he’s never seen her cry or even come close to crying. He clears his throat again and tries to find his voice, hoping it doesn’t sound as shaky and uncertain as he thinks it does. “What happened, Jim?”

She doesn’t answer right away but holds out her hand, beckoning him closer and before he knows it, he’s sitting on the bed holding her in a tight embrace, his hand stroking her hair. He tells himself that it’s just a friendly hug, that he’s just comforting a friend, that his hand on her naked back isn’t itching to pull her even closer, to slide just that bit lower.

She buries her head in the crook of his neck and mutters something about it being her birthday today, and something about the USS Kelvin, and he feels like the biggest damn prick in the world because it’s difficult to be a friendly shoulder to cry on when you have the object of your most secret fantasies naked in your arms. She sniffles a little and hugs him closer and he tries to move away so she won’t notice he’s more than just half-hard already. Of course things don’t go his way, things never go his way, and he’s sure she notices because all of a sudden she isn’t sniffling on his shoulder anymore. She’s nuzzling his neck and planting soft kisses just behind his ear.

It’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, and it kills him a little, it really does, when he pulls her away. But he has to because he’s her friend and friends don’t take advantage of their friends when they’ve obviously been drinking and are emotionally unstable. “Jim, we can’t.” He forces the words out somehow. And she looks up at him with that look she has, the one that looks like he’s just kicked her puppy and then denied her her favorite candy, and he dies a little more.

And then she smiles. She honest to god smiles and reaches out her hand to cup his cheek and looks like she knows, just really fucking knows that everything will be just fine when she speaks. “We can, Bones.” He tries to think of all the reasons why this is a bad idea, why they shouldn’t do this, why this is wrong but he suddenly has trouble remembering and can’t really think of anything but how right it could be. And then she leans in and her breath is unbearably hot in his ear as she whispers “Please? I need you to make me forget. Please, just make me forget. Just for a little while.”

And that’s apparently all it takes because then his lips are on hers, his tongue is exploring her mouth trying to taste all of her at once, and he lets it all go. All the desire, all the passion, everything he’s been trying not to think about for a close to a year is poured into that kiss and the ones that follow. She breaks away just long enough to help him pull his shirt over his head and he moans into her mouth as her hands travel down his chest, grazing his nipples lightly on their way to his belt. He catches her hands and pushes her down on the bed, pinning them above her head. “Not yet.”

He rests back on his haunches and lets his hands skim over her body, slowly removing the sheet in the process. His breath hitches as he finally, finally sees her completely uncovered. His eyes travel over her prone form and no, her nipples aren’t the color he always imagined them to be, they’re a little paler (although they wouldn’t be after he sucked and nibbled at them for a while), and she isn’t shaved the way he always thought she would be, maybe a little more so, but he’s never really cared much about that anyway. But all these things just serve to remind him that this is real, this isn’t a fantasy. She’s here and she’s real and she’s even more beautiful and perfect than he thought she would be.

She nudges him with her leg and he remembers how to breathe again (somehow, he’d forgotten for a while). She’s looking up at him expectantly and perhaps a little anxiously. He can’t help but smile and mutter “So beautiful. So Goddamn beautiful, Jim. Darlin’, I’m gonna make you forget your own damn name before I’m done.”

He slowly trails his hands up the inside of her thighs and is rewarded with a small gasp as he brushes his knuckles against her center in a feathery caress. She lifts her hips to increase the contact and he chuckles and shakes his head. “Shoulda known you’d be impatient. Think it’s time for me to teach you a lesson ‘bout that.”

She groans in frustration when he removes his hand and leans down to kiss her again. She grabs him by the hair and kisses him ferociously. “Should’ve know you’d be such a damn tease, Bones. Will you please just get over yourself and do it already?” He nips at her ear and lets his drawl come out full force. “Not a chance, darlin’ ” He continues his slow torture by kissing a trail down her neck and over her collarbone before licking a lazy circle around her nipple. He keeps his eyes fixed on her as he takes it into his mouth and suckles gently at it before worrying it with his teeth. She arches and her eyes flutter and he studies his handiwork for a moment. He was right, her nipple looked just perfect when he’d made it stand at attention. Rosy and glistening, and he could probably spend hours on it, but then the other one would get lonely and he couldn’t have that, now could he.

By the time he’s done lavishing his attention on her breasts, she’s squirming beneath him cursing at him for being a tease and trying to cajole him into getting a move on and please, would he just fuck her already! But he’s not done yet and if he only gets one night with her, he’s going to make damn sure they both remember it for a long time.

He makes his way down her stomach, licking and kissing and nipping. He buries his nose in the soft patch of curls and simply breathes her for a while. His hands grip her hips as she tries to move against him, tries to get him right where she needs him, but he won’t let her. This-- this has always been one of his favorite things to do and he’ll be damned if he’s going to let her rush him. He moves one of his hands to gently part her folds with his fingers and he has to bite his lip or he’ll lose it right then and there. “So wet for me already, darlin’. So wet and so damn beautiful.”

She growls and pulls at his hair trying to coax him closer. He grips her wrist and growls right back at her before licking a slow, deliberate stripe all the way up her slit.

Her hips lift clean off the bed (or at least they would have he wasn’t keeping a firm grip on them) and she whimpers as he continues his slow exploration of her. A firm lick here, a softer one there, a circle drawn over the swollen nub. There’s a method to this, one he’s spent a long time perfecting, and soon she’s writhing underneath him. Then, and only then, does he slip his tongue into her hot center. He can feel the muscles in her thighs tighten and quiver on his shoulders and around his head, and if his lips weren’t busy doing other things they’d be curling up in a self-satisfied smirk.

When she comes for the first time, she comes around his tongue, inner walls clenching and releasing around it and she makes the breathless, perfect little noises. He gives her a moment of respite as she tries to catch her breath. “God, Bones, that was… Wow.. You should be in Xenolinguistics with that tongue. Fuck...” He nips at her thigh and chuckles softly. “Don’t think so. Never could get all those Klingon verbs ‘n split infinitives right. And I must not be doin’ this right if you’re still coherent enough to say ‘xenolinguistics’. “

She looks a little taken aback by that, but he doesn’t give her the chance to think of a comeback, just slides two fingers into her, making her buck and shout. “Jesus fucking Christ, Bones! Warn a girl, will ya!” He twist his wrist just so and curls his fingers inside her. “Don’t think so, sweetheart. What’s it you always say? ‘Where’s the fun in that, Bones? You should be more impulsive, Bones.’ That sound about right t’you?” He starts moving his fingers in and out in a steady rhythm and loses himself for a moment in the sight and sound of it. She’s already so tight, so hot, so wet around his fingers and he knows he won’t last long when he’s finally inside her. He feels her getting closer and when he takes her clit into his mouth again and sucks hard, she comes again, this time around his fingers and yelling his name. He lets her ride it out, his fingers still inside her, as he kisses his way back up her shuddering body.

He kisses her tenderly and slips his fingers out and it seems he’s finally found a way to render Jim Kirk speechless, because she doesn’t talk just moans as she watches him lick his fingers almost pensively. Her hand makes its way down to cup and stroke him through his pants and this time, it’s he who groans. He’s so hard from all of this it almost hurts and he’s surprised he hasn’t burst out of his clothes already.

He thrusts against her hand a couple of times before making quick work of his pants and underwear, not pausing before he’s lying on top of her again. He cups her face in his hands and looks into those impossibly blue eyes and he can almost see the stars in them, he thinks (and maybe this whole space-thing won’t be so bad if she’s there with him, if he can just keep seeing those stars in her eyes.).

She lift her hips against him, and he moves to slide in slowly (almost reverently). He dips his head and takes a deep, shuddering breath because dammit if this isn’t the best thing he’s felt in years, and if he’s going to Hell for taking advantage of her vulnerable state, he can’t for the life of him think of a better thing to go there for. He almost wishes he could stay like this forever, but his body apparently has other ideas and he can’t resist moving anymore. He tries to set a slow, steady rhythm but it’s lost the moment she cants her hips and asks for more, harder, faster, please. He snaps his hips and curses because he really wanted to get her off just one more time, to feel her release around him, and he thinks he says as much because she moves her hand to where they’re joined and seconds later he feels her tighten impossibly around him, and it makes him shout as he finds his own release, white-hot sparks exploding behind his eyes, and she’s already taken him to the stars without ever leaving Earth.

When the world slowly materializes again, he realizes he’s still on top of her and shifts so he’s on his side. She’s still breathing heavily (so is he, come to think of it) and has this gorgeous lazy smile on her face. She brushes a strand of hair from his forehead and looks entirely too smug. “We are so doing that again in the morning!” And if he didn’t love her before he sure as Hell does now.